Chapter 3: Ceramic Set
“Lalala….. I am the almighty digger ~ ~ ~. I dig once, I find tons of gold. I dig twice; the spring waters of youth will flow out. I dig thrice, I find the goddess of beauty lying down to embrace me. I dig fourth; I awake from my stupid dream…!” Jaime was digging a very big hole in the ground. With his level at 6, digging was not too hard. After a half day of digging, he placed down some tree branches and dry leaves to cover the big hole.
His right hand grabbed a simple bow he made for hunting small animals and ran to the nearest demonic beast he could locate. He tried to find a dumb-ass demonic beasts with 1 to 3 points of intelligence that he could provoke. This was the law of jungle, the smartest eats the dumbest. Immediately he found one that was eating grass lazily.
“I am the future king of gods and demons! Behold my power! Tiny beast please happily be my food!” He quickly pulled his bow with all his strength and let an arrow fly to hit the Hundred Horns Rhino.
He kept shooting at the beast with all his strength. After ten arrows, the rhino still lazily ate the grass. It did even move because its skin was too thick to feel any of the attacks. As for the arrows Jaime released, they were without any iron heads, just a sharpen piece of wood.
Suddenly, the Hundred Horns Rhino turned around and an arrow unintentionally hit one of its eyes.
The Hundred Horns Rhino shrieked loudly and became angry. Both its eyes were locked on Jaime and its four legs started to move in Jaime’s direction. Its Hundred Horns all erected and ready to stab Jaime to death, to make him become satay.
Jaime majestically jumped in front of the mad Hundred Horns Rhino and roared with all his might. “I am going to face you one on one! You better not run this time sissy!” Jaime forcefully ripped off his clothes, showing off his skinny body and bare skin. His muscles contracted and demonstrated his small solid muscles. His eyes were like a lion hunting its prey. His fists hardened and he was prepared to fight to the death.
Immediately, Hundred Horns Rhino rushed at him. Jaime quickly turned around and ran as fast as he could. He ran for his life. “Villagers, Hu Hai and Hu Hai’s ancestor, please help this almighty king. If you help me, I will make a big offering for your spirits and send all of the demonic beast meat for you to eat in hell.”
Unexpectedly something happened, trees far away in the forest started shaking. It seemed like something very big will appear and was rushing at very fast pace to his place.
“Really? All of you are really helping me this time? I won’t forget this kindness…” Jaime tried to check behind him then shouted. “F**KKKKK all of you!!!! You sent me the wrong kind of help!”
Jaime saw another Hundred Horns Rhino appearing and joining the previous one to chase after him. He could do nothing but run faster. “All of you just want me to join you in the after life? This almighty king has to deny it, this king still has much more work to do and has to refuse your intentions. I have to build the largest harem of the three realms! Beauties from all kinds of realms, the sexiest nymph from the Demon Realm, the goddesses from the God Realm, and the beauties that can wreck continents from the Human Realm!”
He ran until he was out of breath. Moving swiftly around the trees while letting the beasts crush anything else in its path. It caused the beasts to move slower, allowing him was to catch his breath. In no time, he quickly found the place he laid the pitfall trap. Jaime crossed the hole by stepping on the small bamboo bridge in the middle of the hole and hurriedly jumping to the other side.
While hanging in the air he shouted, “I am the almighty king of the three realms. Everything will be under me and kissing my ass. I am the Hottest Prince of a thousand beauties! Behold my power!”
The Hundred Horns Rhino did a mad dash to hit Jaime but suddenly lost its footing and fell down hard. The second Hundred Horns Rhino also fell and crushed its friend beneath it with its weight; meanwhile its body became pierced with the erected horns from the Hundred Horns Rhino below it.
Jaime laughed uncontrollably when he saw that both demonic beasts were practically killing each other, sticking their horns into each others body. They both shrieked painfully before they died. Two big balls of free energy emerged from the beasts and moved to Jaime’s body, raising his level four times.
[ Status: Level 10, Elementary realm. ]
“In this world, nothing is impossible! If you think you can then you really can!” High spirited, Jaime jumped in to the pit to check the carcasses. “Now, I will get your meat and cook you!”
After an hour, Jaime gave up. “It’s impossible to cut this thick skin! No matter how much I believe I can cut it, the sword won’t cut it! F**k positive thinking!”
Blind believers with blind faith will only get schemed against blindly.
“Book of karma, I need the skills and experience of a best chef in the world, who can skin, debone and cook demonic beast. Also have the knowledge to make use of plants around this place as seasoning to make the food taste better.”
A screen appeared in front of Jaime with a list containing thousands of names. He quickly scanned the list to the section that was affordable for his condition, which was at the bottom of the list.
[ 3123. Second generation of the self-proclaim best chef in the world. A young master of the best chef in the world. Unsatisfied with cooking small animals and normal animals, he dedicated himself to the study of demonic beast cooking and learned about plants for seasoning and medicine. He lived and died on a deserted land; self-proclaimed as the best medical chef in the world.
Exchange with 5 levels and 50 mental energies ]
Jaime didn’t want to exchange all of his levels because he would lose his strength to cut the meat or to do the housewife chores for those 28 pigs. “Seem like I have karma with that self-proclaimed chef and his son, hmm… self-proclaimed best medical chef in the world. At least I still get something that sounds like ‘the best in the world’.”
Losing 5 of his levels, Jaime quickly experienced 87 years of the life of the self-proclaimed best medical chef in the world in just a few seconds. He gained the knowledge on how to cook the demonic beasts. He knew which spots were best to start the cutting from, deboning from, and how to take the demonic beast’s core out. Jaime worked for a whole day and night to make the meat edible and tasty.
He also had made an offering ritual for Hu Hai and his ancestors; all the bone and left over of demonic beast things.
“Master Zhu Wei, this is the offering,” Jaime presented his best creation to Zhou Wei. The arrogant guy check the demonic beast’s meat cooked with some seasoning that smelled wonderful. He started to drool.
Zhou Wei ate the meat, chewed for a long time and nodded in agreement. “Tasty, you can keep your head for now.”
“Thank you Master Zhou Wei.” Jaime turned around and smirked.
Never ever make a chef angry! Once they get angry at you, they will cook for you a very wonderful and special dish. You will be drooling just by its smell. When you eat it, you will go to heaven because it is so wonderfully tasty. But when you know what inside, you will definitely fall to hell!
For me, one of my seasonings for you is my sh*t! You ate it and you said it was tasty… MUAHAHAHAHA….From today on, your food will always have that special seasoning of mine…. Sorry but you started it!
The Hundred horns rhino weighed around 1 to 2 tons. With that much meat, Jaime made some dried meat for the future. For a week, he kept himself busy with the demonic beast carcasses. He also tried to use the horns and the skin to make something else useful.
Then, that morning Jaime met his second arch-enemy, another inner disciple of Bamboo Peak.
“So you really hunted that demonic beast?”
“Yes I did.” Jaime glanced at the woman, that was around thirty years old, in front of the cave. Usually most inner disciples of Bamboo Peak hide in their cave. Only now, when he was really unlucky, would he meet someone who would squash him dry.
“Don’t lie to me; I could sense that you haven’t even reached the elementary realm. How could you kill demonic beast, which are at least in the elementary realm?”
The woman didn’t look cold, instead she gave the feeling of lust and danger at the same time. She was the type that like to gain attention the most, but would happily kill or torture anyone that tried to take a bit of that attention from her; a natural-born sadist.
“I am a humble person and the most honest person under three realms. I dug a big hole wholeheartedly and waited a few days for the demonic beast to jump in to it and send its meat to me. That was how I could gain the demon beast’s meat and the beast also didn’t feel cheated. Because it was just an unlucky accident, that Hundred Horns Rhino beast could only blame its own luck.”
“You don’t face it one on one like a man? You have no honor!” The woman sneered.
“I am so sorry, my father never taught me anything about honor. He thought honor was big bullshit and it caused people to die faster. For my goodness sake, his future grandson and our clan next generation, he taught me our family’s number one martial art. It is dated from 8000 years ago and has already been carefully refined by each patriarch to its best form; the art of kissing ass. He hoped that, with this art, I could survive this hard life and one day be king of the three realms.”
The woman laughed. “Whatever, now you have the demonic beast’s core right?”
Jaime found a small crystal inside the demonic beast and knew it was the demonic beast’s core. The core was amounted with some spiritual energy which may help cultivator with their cultivation.
“I have two with me and willingly present all I have to mistress.” Jaime took out two small azure crystals.
“I have no need for those lowly beast cores.” The woman sneered again. “I am getting tired of these bamboo glasses and mugs; I want a set of ceramic food ware. Get them for me.” She threw a set of bamboo glasses and mugs to Jaime’s face.
“F**k, who do you think you are? A Princess who can charm any guy under heaven? Cause them be a stupid fanatic and throw their money just to make you smile! F**k, with your face and body, any horny bastard wouldn’t even like to touch you even for free!”
“The most beautiful princess under heaven…” said Jaime without any anger. He was clearly implying under heaven, as in hell. Maybe some hungry spirits there will find this woman attractive and think of her as a beautiful princess. “This lowly servant has no money, no family or friends, nor knows any loan sharks to borrow money to buy a ceramic set. If I’m needed to sell my body to get a set of ceramic, I will do it for my princess.”
“No need to sell yourself. You don’t cost that much, you aren’t worth anything. Just sell your demonic beast cores in the market and buy me a set.”
Jaime tried to reason. “This lowly slave doesn’t know any market, nor dare to go to any market because this lowly slave will get bullied until he forgets his mother and father face.”
The woman threw a jade charm at him that had the writing ‘third Bamboo Peak’ on it. “The market is in the middle of Double Moon Sect, if anyone dares to bully you, just show it to them. I will castrate them. Next week when I come out of my cave, I want to find my new set of ceramic!”
“Beautiful sister, it isn’t good to follow your desire. Find your life’s purpose in happiness, not desire. Wanting a ceramic set is a shameful desire. A beauty should not want any ceramic set, nor have the desire, so you can cultivate smoothly. I am saying this because I care about my beautiful sister.”
“You know, you are funny. Your birdie is a source of desire, do you want this sister to help remove it for you?” The woman glanced at the Jaime’s lower body.
“Sister will have a set of ceramic in a week!” Jaime humbly bowed. One without power could only blame their own bad luck.
Jaime didn’t need to ask anyone about the market place’s location. He exchanged a few of his mental energies in the Book of Karma to get the information.
Near the gate of Bamboo Peak a chilling sound hit Jaime’s back like thunder.
“Where do you think you are going?”
Jaime found no one but still bowed down humbly. “This lowly slave was giving a task by a beautiful goddess to buy a ceramic set at the market.” He took out the jade.
“Third senior sister?” The voice was silent for a while. “You may go, but remember to buy a set for me too.”
Jaime’s face became very ugly, the frustration really tasted very sour. “I want to talk about desire. Having desire….”
“What does desire have to do with having your head?”
“Acknowledge, one set of ceramic…” Rotten luck.
“Hu Hai I had given you an offering, you better find these two ancestors in hell and bully them! They bully your brother here!”
Jaime wanted to cry but he couldn’t. Even the dumbest housewife would stop shouting in front of her angry husband, even if that bastard cheated her badly, because she would only invite the black and blue. She would let her husband sleep first, then castrate him. Well, maybe giving him poison in his dinner is also agreeable.
In the Double Moon Sect’s market, Jaime made his way to a very big road with a large number of people busy buying or selling. Lots of bargaining and shouting could be heard. There were shop signs on some wooden huts, but mostly sellers just laid their mats down and put down whatever garbage they had and sold them as treasures along the street.
Jaime visited a vendor and met an old man seller. “Honest seller, this lowly one wants to sell two demon beast cores.” He showed the jade. “How much is it priced?”
The old guy sneered. “Those two cores are from low rank demonic beast. Even if you throw it on the street, no one will bother to take it. But giving face to the Third Inner Disciples of Bamboo Peak, I will take both for two spiritual stones.”
Hearing that answer, Jaime determined that the seller didn’t cheat him, because they really gave face to the inner disciples. Jaime took the two small spiritual stones. Seems like the currency used in this place was spiritual stone. The stones are only the size of a thumb but they were filled with Heavenly and Earth energies or spiritual energy which would benefit the cultivators.
[Spiritual stone is a stone which has been nurtured by heavenly and earth energies for at least ten thousand years and contains a lot of spiritual energies inside. One spiritual stone in this place equals to 100 taels of gold or 10,000 taels of silver. One spiritual stone with proper cultivation would be able to bring a normal human to the door step of the Elementary Realm. This stone is widely used as currency for cultivators of spiritual energy.]
He walked around the market checking every item on sale. He discovered people selling talismans, weapons, books, and some broken stuff. Passing the crowded stall, he heard the seller shouting. “These pills were made by Violet Peak Division. Like all of us know the best pills makers in the whole Double Moon Sect are inside the fourth division! Overseen by Elder Jie and Grandmaster Xhu. I promise none of these pills will make you disappointed. Get it before it run out. Healing pills [White Flower pill] only 25 stones each, Strengthen pills [Heaven Ox pill] 40 stones, Cleaning meridian pills [Cloud Mist pill] 1,000 stones, Junior Realm breakthrough pills [Winged Horse Pill ] 1,500 stones, Senior Realm break through pills [First Dragon pill] 3,000 stones!”
“This [First Dragon] pill will make sure you become a dragon among man! Becoming an inner disciple or even a core disciple and quickly boosting your cultivation to Senior Realm! Stock is limited, only 10 [First Dragon] pills appear once a year and only 5 will be sold! You are lucky to find it today. Come, come…” People with no money could only silently pass the stalls. Heads held high up, showing no need for those pills attitude, yet inside they were bleeding and demanding for those pills.
At last after wandering for a few minutes, Jaime found what he needed the most; a ceramic seller.
“What price is a set of ceramic?” Jaime asked an old man while pointing to a ceramic mug, plate, glass, and pot.
“100 spiritual stones for a set.”
“F**k! Make it one spiritual stone for a set. I’ll take two sets. Here are two spiritual stones.”
“Do you think your father runs the Double Moon Sect!” The seller immediately became angry and hit the stall table.
“No! But this jade owner thinks her father runs Double Moon Sect!” Jaime threw the jade at the seller.
The seller looked at the jade and laughed loudly “Third inner disciples of Bamboo Peak, don’t scare me. Don’t think that you can rob me by showing this jade.”
Jaime frowned because that jade robbed him flat.
“Go back and tell her, ‘Screw her daddy’! This grandfather is a core disciple, how could I be scared by some random inner disciple! I have a higher position inside this sect.”
Back in Bamboo Peak, a sound without shadow shouted as Jaime when he stepped on the gate.
“Where is my ceramic set?”
“A set of ceramic cost 100 spiritual stones! I don’t have it. Give me the spiritual stones and I will buy it for you.”
“How much did third senior sister give you?”
Jaime angrily shouted. “She gave me nothing except this jade. But this jade couldn’t buy anything nor scare anyone.”
“When will third senior sister receive her ceramic set?”
“Then I will give you nothing and will get my ceramics set next week!”
“You guys are bullying people too much!” Jaime wanted to cry.
“I think if you can’t give third senior sister the ceramic set, she will castrate you and roasted it. I am different; I will be kind to you and only take your eyes out.”
That kind of kindness was the last thing Jaime wanted from this world!